


Any Closer Than This

by MiinAandeg



Category: DEAN (Korean Musician), FANXY CHILD (Band)
Genre: Beaches, Coming Out, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, First Kiss, Hand Jobs, Intercrural Sex, M/M, Post-Coital Cuddling, Recreational Drug Use
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-05
Updated: 2020-01-05
Packaged: 2021-04-22 02:13:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22136281
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MiinAandeg/pseuds/MiinAandeg
Summary: Jiho is high when he learns Hyuk is gay
Relationships: Kwon Hyuk | Dean/Woo Jiho | Zico
Comments: 10
Kudos: 55





	Any Closer Than This

**Author's Note:**

> I started writing this early Tuesday, became horribly ill and died for about 5 days, and finished it today
> 
> Title loosely taken from Pour Up by Dean feat. Zico cuz of course it is lol
> 
> I hope you enjoy it, comments and kudos are loved

Jiho learns that Hyuk is gay when he’s high. They’re in Los Angeles, just visiting because they can and weed is legal and because Kyung had insisted that he either relaxed out of the country or he’d tie Jiho up in his apartment so he had no choice but to not work. He appreciates his friends looking out for him, but he still thinks leaving the country is a bit extreme. Or maybe not. He hasn’t been able to work on a single track since they landed.

It’s their fourth day at a little house Hyuk rented from a friend right next to the beach. Private. Secluded. The sound of the surf washes through the windows, carrying the scent of salt and sea spray that mixes with the stink of weed as Hyuk takes a long drag and blows rings up at the ceiling as Jiho scrolls through Hyuk’s phone. He’s been banned from his own but Hyuk doesn’t mind letting him look through his for entertainment. Scrolling through photos is an easy way to catch up on what Hyuk’s been doing without talking, both of them feeling to slow and hazy to really want to speak if they can avoid it.

And that’s fine until he reaches a video that’s from 2016. He hits play and watches with wide eyes as the camera pans over to a man on a stage, bare from the waist up with his arms tied above his head and connected to some sort of hook. A moment later, the sound of whooshing fire and then a flogger with the ends flaming arches out and snaps against the man’s back. The crowd claps. The person with the flogger traces intricate designs with the flame with each flick of his wrist and Jiho watches, jaw dropping open, and he’s so absorbed in trying to process what he’s witnessing, that he doesn’t notice Hyuk’s rolled over to lean against him until he reaches out and pauses the video.

“I…” Jiho says, then turns to look at him.

Hyuk’s face is right next to his and even without the make-up he wears for performances, he’s fucking flawless to look at. He’s known forever how pretty Hyuk is. It feels different now though.

“Pretty, isn’t it?” Hyuk asks, then reaches up and places the blunt on Jiho’s bottom lip.

Jiho inhales, staring into Hyuk’s eyes as warmth spreads through his limbs. Hyuk pulls the blunt away and then leans in, mouth open to inhale the smoke on Jiho’s exhale before dropping the remains of the blunt in the ashtray that sits on the bed.

“The fire doesn’t burn,” he continues as if Jiho still isn’t staring at him slack-jawed. “I talked to the guy after and he said the fire is for show. It’s like art. He said the flogging hurts more.”

“Oh,” Jiho says, tongue thick in his mouth.

“I fucked him in my hotel room,” Hyuk says. “His skin smelled like the smoke from the flogger.”

“I didn’t…know,” Jiho says.

Hyuk smiles, easy. “Is it a problem? That I like guys?”

Jiho shakes his head because of course it’s not. He’s looked at guys too – Minho, Kyung, and on one stupid occasion, Jay Park. In his defense, he’d been drunk. Jay had nearly laid him the fuck out when he realized Jiho had been staring at his ass but Jiho pretended not to remember the next morning. He was free with his affection in an over the top fashion because it helped hide the reality, but that doesn’t change what he knows about himself.

“You’re a good guy, Jiho,” Hyuk says, then kisses his cheek.

Maybe it’s the weed. The kiss feels like a brand and he nearly chokes on his spit when he tries to breathe. Hyuk laughs and then reaches for the blunt.

“Take another hit, babe,” Hyuk says, slipping the blunt between his lips again.

Jiho inhales, more than willing to follow an order now that his whole world has been turned upside down. Hyuk smiles and pulls the blunt away before leaning in like before, lips not touching, and yet Jiho can still feel the heat of them, teasing him with their proximity just like the look in Hyuk’s eyes does. He exhales and Hyuk’s eyes slide shut as he inhales the smoke. It’s easy to press forward then, sealing their lips together in a shy kiss that Jiho doesn’t quite have the confidence for.

The surf crashes against the shore and a seagull cries, the noises making him startle back, eyes wide. Hyuk’s eyes slide back open. He stubs the remains of the blunt back out in the ashtray before moving too quickly for someone who’s as high as he is to put it on the bedside table and roll out of bed.

“Don’t do things you don’t mean, Jiho,” Hyuk calls over his shoulder as he disappears into the bathroom.

Jiho stares at the bathroom door as it swings shut. He can’t help but reach up and touch his own lips with the tips of his fingers and the weed has every nerve in him singing because the simple touch makes him shiver. He sits up and stares at the last of the smoke rising up from the blunt before getting off the bed, balance just a touch off kilter. He hasn’t smoked nearly as much as Hyuk has, but he can count on one hand the amount of times he’s had the ability to get high without the fear of jail. Hyuk has a lot more experience than him – apparently in more than one way.

He grabs his robe off the bedroom door hook and heads out to the living room as he shrugs it on. It may be a break, but he doesn’t want to get too much of a tan. He steps out onto the porch and then heads down the steps and into the warm sand, goosebumps sliding up his ankles and legs from the sensation. Everything feels so much more now. Maybe he can blame the kiss on the weed the way he blamed his wandering eyes on too much alcohol. But Hyuk isn’t Jay – not even close.

He drops into one of the two lounge chairs under the partially see through white canopy, the wood groaning from the abrupt way he falls into it.

Hyuk is gay.

Hyuk kisses men.

Hyuk goes to kink clubs with other man when he’s in the States.

And Jiho has been shoved so far in the closet he still hasn’t even told Minho or Kyung. Fuck.

His brain spirals the same thoughts around and around in his head. Between those and the rhythmic crash of the waves, he drifts to sleep, hoping he hasn’t fucked everything up.

-.-

“Jiho. Jihooooooo. Hey.”

Something kicks the lounge chair and he jolts awake, suddenly aware of how cold he is and the sudden creeping darkness as the sun finishes slipping below the horizon. Hyuk offers an apologetic smile.

“I took a nap too. I didn’t realize you were still out here,” he says. “Want to get food?”

Jiho sits up, rubbing sand and sleep out of his eyes with a wince. “Yeah sure.”

Hyuk’s eyes flick down to stare at his bared chest, the sides of his robe having fallen open in his sleep. All at once, the heat from before floods his body and he can’t help the flush that crawls up and heats his face as Hyuk’s eyes wander over his form. He’s lost some of the muscle definition he had in Block B. There’s a little more fat padding his ribs. Minho whines at him sometimes about how he wishes he could have a cushy CEO job too, even though they both know there’s nothing cushy about trying to scrape together a label from scratch.

He can’t help but be surprised that his body is still attractive to someone like Hyuk.

Hyuk looks back up. “I’ll order something in.”

“Okay,” Jiho agrees, then pushes himself up.

He follows Hyuk back into the house, shutting the doors behind him before heading for the bathroom to shower the sand out. In his mind, all he can do is work through his memories of moments when his sexuality had been obvious but played off as a joke in interviews, in variety shows, when he and Hyuk were both judges on SMTM. Always just a joke. Always just another _“You know how Jiho is”._

Hyuk’s words echo in his mind as he dries himself off. The thing is, he _does_mean it. Every over the top remark he’s made about how much he loves and appreciates Hyuk has been true, every single fucking one. It just had never mattered before because Hyuk had been like every other man he’d fallen for. Untouchable. Unattainable.

And now he isn’t.

Unless he doesn’t like him back, which is totally possible, but still. It means he’s not the only one in their group of friends that likes men and that has to mean something.

He pulls the robe back on with his gym shorts underneath before heading back out to the living room. The furniture there is simple white wicker with tan cushions that are easy to sink into. Hyuk’s reopened the back doors, letting the cool sea breeze drift through the house and make the candles Hyuk’s set out on the end tables flicker as he flips through the Netflix menu on the TV. He’s in his own robe, a dark red fabric that always compliments his skin. Because Jiho spends way too much time thinking about the colors Hyuk looks good in and he can admit that to himself now.

"What’d you order?” Jiho asks. He takes his seat on the couch and slips his arm behind Hyuk’s shoulders like usual. That, like everything else, feels so much different with the weight of the truth sitting heavy between them.

"Panda Express,” Hyuk says, over-enunciating like when he’s trying to make Jiho laugh. He smiles and hands him the remote. “You pick a show, I worked too hard already.”

"Ahh, so mean, this is supposed to be my break,” Jiho says, letting himself whine because that’s what feels natural even with his painful awareness of Hyuk’s body heat next to him.

Hyuk huffs and curls into his side, cheek resting on his shoulder. When Jiho glances down, he can’t help but focus on how beautiful his eyelashes look with his eyes downcast like that. He forces himself to click through the menu so it’s not suspicious. He picks one of the dramas they’d been watching and sets the remote aside before settling in. The position isn’t that different from how they usually sit.

But Jiho can’t focus. Every part of him is tense, terrified, hyperaware of every nerve ending and every centimeter their bodies brush together. He swallows and it sounds too loud. Hyuk makes a soft noise over something happening on the screen and all Jiho can do is stare at the way his mouth drops open and then closes again after he wets his lips with his tongue. Jiho inhales, sharp, and Hyuk jerks to look up at him.

It’s like a blast of cold air when their eyes meet, everything in him freezing because he doesn’t know what to do, doesn’t know where to look, what to say, what to do, what he can move, what he can’t. Hyuk’s gaze softens like he can read it all on Jiho’s face. Maybe he can. Jiho knows he’s never been any good at hiding his emotions from Hyuk or Kyung or Minho, everything just reading so clearly in his eyes.

“How long have you known?” Hyuk asks, leaning back.

"Known what?” Jiho asks, voice wavering.

“How long have you known you liked men? It wasn’t just this afternoon, was it?” Hyuk asks.

Jiho swallows and shakes his head, suddenly unable to look at Hyuk at all.

“Jiho. How long?” Hyuk asks.

Silence stretches between them as the drama continues to drone in the background but he can’t even hear it, too aware of the way his heart pounds in his chest.

“Jiho,” Hyuk says, hand brushing Jiho’s knee.

“Since I was 11.” He blurts the words out and jerks away as his throat closes up and his eyes well up with tears he somehow still has. He’s spilt so many over this issue, he should be out of them. But he’s not. He doesn’t think he ever will be.

He doesn’t sob, barely makes a noise in fact. He just covers his face and lets the tears soak into his fingers like always. It’ll pass. It always does. He just needs a moment to compose himself and bury the truth back down where it belongs.

“Jiho, it’s just us,” Hyuk says, shifting closer but not touching him. “You don’t have to hide from me.”

And it’s just like Hyuk to be up in his head and know exactly what he’s thinking before he says a word. Hyuk sighs and brushes his fingers through Jiho’s hair. When he tugs, Jiho goes, letting Hyuk tug him over and wrap his arms around Jiho’s shoulders and finally, finally the dam breaks. His hands fall to his lap, then slide around Hyuk’s shoulders and he buries his face against Hyuk’s neck as he begins to cry in earnest, fingers twisting in the soft fabric of his robe as he does so.

It feels horrible. He hates crying. It’s not that he’s worried about appearing weak, but it’s the way it makes his eyes swell, and his cheeks feel hot, the way it feels to have all his emotions rise up and purge out all at once. It’s pain and fear and dismay. He wonders if this was how Minho felt the first time he performed Fear. He wonders if there’s anything that even compares to this.

Hyuk accepts him as he is, but what does that mean for his past? The years of clenched repression, of forced movements, of laughing at his own expense. All for fucking nothing. He didn’t need to do that, didn’t need to chip away at himself so that nothing would show on accident. How can he be happy about acceptance knowing everything he’s lost trying not to let who he was show?

“Jiho, it’s okay,” Hyuk says.

Jiho can’t even think of any words to say so he doesn’t. There’s no point once he’s started crying – all he can do is let it run through him. Hyuk doesn’t let go. Not even when he makes a mess of his neck and his robe. He just holds Jiho and runs his fingers through his hair. The quiet acceptance makes everything in him shake apart from the inside out.

"What now?” Jiho finally manages to choke out.

The doorbell rings.

“I guess food,” Hyuk says.

Jiho pulls back and they both stare at each other and despite everything, they both begin to laugh, the kind that makes his stomach hurt. The absurdity of it all can’t be avoided. Hyuk stands up and kisses his head before heading down the hall for the front door and Jiho’s grateful for it because it gives him a chance to wipe his tears and compose himself. He gets to his feet and makes his way to the kitchen bar, sliding into one of the stools right as Hyuk enters with a bag of food.

“The perfect meal for emotionally stressful conversations,” Hyuk says, pulling out the cartons and distributing them.

“I’d need about five more shots of whiskey for this to be perfect,” Jiho says.

Hyuk leans over the counter on the opposite side as he pulls the chopsticks out of their paper wrapping. “It’s just me, Jiho, I said that once already. Nothing you say to me is going to shock me.”

Jiho remembers the video that started this all and nods. “Still. It’s weird going from working so hard to hide it to it just being…out there.”

“How out there are you planning on getting?” Hyuk asks.

“Not that far,” Jiho says, opening the cartons of food and grabbing his own chopsticks. “Just you I guess. I don’t know…I don’t know who else I’d tell.”

“Hyoseob and Dongwook know about me,” Hyuk says. “I’m not saying you have to tell them, but they wouldn’t be upset with you.”

The feeling from before swamps up again, wrapping up around his throat. A corroded mixture of regret and anger and grief that he’s wasted so much time feeling terrified and scared when he hadn’t needed to. He chokes it down with food, focusing on the taste in an attempt to ground himself. They eat in silence for a few moments and Jiho tries to come up with the words to articulate his feelings as he eats, struggling in a way he never really has before.

“I’m mad I went this long not telling anyone. It feels like I wasted a lot of time,” he says, staring down at his food. He mixes some of the rice and chicken together, soaking it in sauce as he reaches for more words to explain. “I feel stupid for holding it inside for so long.”

“Don’t,” Hyuk says, voice firm. Jiho looks up, surprised by the intense look Hyuk gives him. “Don’t ever feel bad for hiding when we run in the circles we do. You had no way of knowing who would accept you or who would run to the press, and you have always had more to lose than me.”

Jiho frowns. “That’s…”

“It’s true,” Hyuk says, serious expression breaking with a roll of his eyes. “You don’t have to lie about your own success to make me feel better. You’ve always been chasing this dream of having your own label and you’ve been so smart, Jiho, making the moves you have to put yourself in a position to make it happen. If I were you, I wouldn’t have come out either.”

“Oh…”

“And you don’t have to come out to anyone if you don’t want to,” Hyuk says, pointing at him with his chopsticks once before turning back to his food and shoving a piece of chicken into his mouth before continuing. “I’m just telling you who’s safe if you wanted to.”

“I should probably tell Minho,” Jiho says.

“You don’t have to tell anyone,” Hyuk says. “Really. Only if you want to.”

"I’m lucky to have you,” Jiho says. “You can keep me from making bad decisions.”

“I don’t think telling Minho is a bad decision, I just don’t want you feeling like you owe anyone anything just because they’ve been your friend for years,” Hyuk says.

"My point stands,” Jiho says with a smile.

Hyuk blinks and flushes before ducking his head to begin diligently picking through his food. They finish their food and clean up together before Jiho moves to blow out the candles in the living room while Hyuk heads down the hall to the bedroom. They’d been sharing a room the last few nights. Now, looking down the hall to the half-closed door, Jiho feels like this too has changed.

He raps his knuckles on the door and pushes inside, pausing when he sees Hyuk finish removing his robe. For a moment, too long, he just stares, eyes tracking over every tattoo and then up to the one on his collarbone that stretches up his neck. It’s his favorite to look at. The way it moves with Hyuk, the way it seems to extenuate every motion he makes, has captivated him on more than one occasion. He finally drags his eyes up to Hyuk’s when Hyuk faces him head on.

“Sorry,” Jiho says.

“What do you want from me?” Hyuk asks. There’s nothing accusatory in his tone as he turns to drop the robe in the hamper by the bathroom door and readjust a pair of Gucci gym shorts that Jiho is 90% sure are his on his hips. “Is it because I’m the only other gay guy you know?”

"No,” Jiho says. “I’ve sort of…always looked at you like this. Usually I’m better about it.”

Hyuk smiles, still not looking at him. “Not sure how you missed me giving you the same looks for this long.”

“I guess we’re both stupid this time,” Jiho says, and as confident as the words sound, he can’t bring himself to move closer.

Hyuk moves, stepping into his space and Jiho can’t help but step back out of instinct, leaning back against the bedroom door and closing it in the process. Hyuk doesn’t kiss him though, just presses close, head ducking down to his neck as he reaches past Jiho. Jiho hears the click of the light switch next. As the room plunges into darkness, Hyuk’s hands fall to his waist and Jiho inhales, head leaning back against the door as Hyuk’s lips find his throat, brushing over his skin like a question.

His heart pounds so fast, he’s positive there’s no way Hyuk can’t hear it, can’t feel it. Hyuk doesn’t do anything more though, just breathes against his neck in between the occasional soft kiss, and they remain arched together in a tense line that doesn’t seem to want to break or relax.

“Whatever you want,” Hyuk says, voice a whisper. “I meant what I said earlier. You don’t owe anyone, including me, anything, but anything you want to give I will happily take.”

Jiho shudders, swallowing hard, and then his hands are in Hyuk’s hair so he can drag his head up and press their lips together. Hyuk opens for him easily, tongues sliding together as Jiho walks them back towards the bed, everything in him craving more of what he’s been denying himself for fucking years. Hyuk laughs as they land on the bed in a tangle of limbs. It’s far from suave, but Jiho doesn’t care. He likes the way Hyuk’s face looks when he laughs too, and he realizes quickly he also likes the way the laugh turns to a gasp when his hand brushes over Hyuk’s nipple as he drags his hand down his chest.

The room is dark, but the open windows allow moonlight to stream in, bathing Hyuk in an interesting play of pale light and shadow. Jiho wishes he were a photographer. He wants to remember the way Hyuk’s neck tattoo looks as he arches his head back in the light of the moon. He leans back up and presses their lips together again. Hyuk regains his composure and slides his hands up to Jiho’s chest, parting the robe and pushing it down until it gets stopped by the belt. He makes quick work of that too.

Jiho sits back on Hyuk’s thighs and finishes pulling it off before leaning back down and pressing their lips together again. Each slide of their lips and tongues against one another sends a fresh wave of pleasure and excitement through him, like he still can’t quite believe he’s allowed to do this. He wants to kiss Hyuk for hours. Wants to kiss him until their lips are swollen, until they can barely breathe.

“Ah!”

Hyuk’s gasp makes Jiho pull back and he realizes he’s pressed his thigh up against Hyuk’s hard cock. The feeling is foreign to him but all it does is rachet his own arousal higher. A moment later he freezes, because he doesn’t know what comes next, not really. Hyuk’s eyes slide open, tongue slipping out to wet his lips as he stares up at Jiho with a look that borders on predatory.

“Don’t leave me hanging, baby,” Hyuk says, soft voice somehow iron-like in its command.

Jiho shifts onto his side, wanting to be able to see Hyuk still in the moonlight. He takes a deep breath and then reaches out with his hand, sliding over Hyuk’s stomach and then down beneath the hem of the shorts to wrap around his cock. It’s warm in his hand, but not all too different from holding his own. It’s easy to begin stroking with a light touch, watching as Hyuk’s eyes flutter shut again and he turns his head to the side, exposing his throat as he gives a soft moan. Jiho leans forward and presses his lips to Hyuk’s neck, loving the way that prompts another noise of pleasure.

“Thought about you doing this,” Hyuk says. “Thought about you doing more too…”

“Like what?” Jiho asks, lips pressed to Hyuk’s ear just to feel the way he shivers.

“Thought about your fucking lips,” Hyuk says, turning his head back so he and Jiho are eye to eye. “Thought about how they’d look wrapped around my dick.”

Jiho’s mouth drops open, somehow surprised by the blunt way Hyuk speaks. Hyuk smiles and leans in for another kiss. It’s slower than their others, mostly because Jiho can’t think past the image of being on his knees for Hyuk like that. Hyuk bites at his lower lip, a teasing flash of pain that makes Jiho squeeze his hand right on the up stroke which just makes Hyuk gasp against his lips.

“Lube, in my bag,” Hyuk says.

"Got it.”

Jiho lets go of him and gets to his feet to walk over to where Hyuk’s bag sits on the dresser, going for the side pocket he’s seen him put toiletries. He grabs the lube and turns back to the bed. He stops then, swallowing hard as he drinks in the sight of Hyuk stretched out entirely naked on the bed, pale skin bright in the moonlight and the dark etches of his tattoos and the way they crawl over his skin seeming harsher than usual. Hyuk smiles at him, slow and easy.

“Come here, baby,” Hyuk says. “But I want you naked first.”

Inexperience doesn’t stop him from obeying, shoving his shorts down in a quick motion before climbing back onto the bed and tossing the lube up near Hyuk’s head. Hyuk sits up before he can get back on top of him.

“How far do you want to go?” Hyuk asks, tugging Jiho to sit next to him instead.

“I…haven’t thought that far ahead,” Jiho says.

Hyuk leans in and kisses him again, once, soft and gentle. “I know. I just don’t want to overwhelm you.”

His words from earlier echo in Jiho’s head, the possessive way he’d said he’d take anything Jiho gave him. “What do you want?”

The soft look in Hyuk’s eyes melts into something much more heated and his hand curls around Jiho’s neck, fingers digging in just a little too firm. “If you wanted, I would happily bend you over the edge of this bed and fuck you until you couldn’t think anymore.”

And fuck, for a moment that’s exactly what Jiho wants. He’s dreamt about things like that, about Hyuk like that, for so long, that having it offered to him on a silver platter makes everything in him tremble from want. But he’s still too scared. The freedom is still too new. He doesn’t think he can, even if that’s what he wants.

“Hyuk, I…”

Jiho kisses Hyuk again, not sure how to communicate his feelings so instead hoping Hyuk understands just how desperately he wants it even if he can’t. Hyuk kisses him back just as hungrily, fingers harsh as they come up to frame Jiho’s jaw.

“We can do something else instead,” Hyuk says when he pulls back, because he gets it. Of course he does. “Get on all fours for me.”

Jiho goes, hesitating only a moment because it feels so vulnerable. But it’s Hyuk he’s with. It’s safe. Hyuk curses under his breath and shifts on the bed. A moment later, hands touch his thighs, rubbing over them before pushing them together. Then he grabs the lube and Jiho listens as he slicks his own cock, curious as to where this is going next but willing to trust Hyuk’s judgment.

When Hyuk’s cock slides between his thighs, he can’t help the way his elbows buckle from the feeling of the head of his cock nudging along his own balls. It’s so unexpected that he can’t help the way his brain seems to fizzle out. Hyuk thrusts again, this time his cock sliding up along Jiho’s for a moment and that’s all the teasing pleasure Jiho needs to collapse forward completely, pillowing his head against his arms.

“Feels good, huh?” Hyuk asks, hands gripping Jiho’s hips as he thrusts again. “Not quite what you wanted but it’s good enough for now, isn’t it?”

Jiho nods and then gasps as Hyuk leans over him, warm chest pressing against his back as he kisses the back of Jiho’s neck. It’s not as close as he wants though. He wants Hyuk pressed over every inch of him but that’s not possible like this.

“Closer, Hyuk, please,” he says.

Hyuk grunts and pulls away before pushing Jiho down and rolling him onto his side and Jiho just goes because it’s Hyuk. The way Hyuk controls his body, bringing his legs together and sliding between his thighs again, is in all honesty hot as fuck considering Hyuk is built so much more delicately than he is. He never thought it was possible for someone to make him feel small.

“That better?” Hyuk asks, the whole line of his warm body pressing against Jiho’s as he slides his cock between his thighs again, rubbing against his balls as he does so.

“Yeah, Hyuk, fuck yeah…”

Jiho lulls his head to the side, fixing out on the dark ocean and sky lit by the moon outside the window. There’s something soothing about the rhythm of the surf and the cool breeze through the window contrasting with the heat at his back and between his legs as Hyuk moves against him. Every brush of Hyuk’s cock against his own is a tease, but one that he enjoys. After a few moments, Hyuk adds more lube and everything just gets hotter and wetter and he can’t help but reach down and fondle the tip of his own cock as Hyuk kisses his neck in slow, wet presses.

“I’d fuck you like this too, if you let me,” Hyuk murmurs against his ear. “Slow and deep, make you go crazy from how long it goes on. Hold you against me just like this.”

“Hyuk, please…ah…fuck…” Jiho’s eyes slide shut on his moan as Hyuk’s arm tucks up under his chest and holds him even closer as he moves.

“Yeah baby, I got you,” Hyuk says, voice shaking a bit as he thrusts a bit faster. “Touch yourself for me, Jiho, wanna see you. Come on.”

Jiho tightens his grip on his cock and begins to stroke for a moment before reaching further down and grasping at Hyuk’s dick as it pushes up against his balls again, slicking his hand up with lube and pre-come before going back to his own. Hyuk huffs out a breath against his neck and nips at his skin. The edge of pain makes him jerk in Hyuk’s arms and his other hand flies up to grasp at the arm around his chest.

Hyuk twines their fingers together, squeezing Jiho’s hand. It’s a simple gesture but something about it makes Jiho’s heart flutter in his chest, like it’s a reminder that Hyuk isn’t going anywhere. He twists his head around to press his lips to Hyuk’s in a sloppy, off center kiss. Hyuk obliges, tongue slipping against his lower lip and then against his own as he begins to gasp, fucking faster between Jiho’s thighs.

“Fuck, fuck I’m gonna come,” Hyuk whispers against his lips. “Feel so good for me, Jiho…”

“Come on,” Jiho says. “Come on me, Hyuk, all over my thighs and my dick-“

“Jesus fucking…Jiho…”

Jiho watches as Hyuk’s mouth drops open on a moan, eyes fluttering shut as he comes. He feels it against his thighs, his balls, and then Hyuk pulls back, pushes forward again, right against his hole and Jiho gasps, hand tightening on his own dick. The gentle push before Hyuk pulls away isn’t enough to get him there, but it’s fucking close, and he can’t help but desperately begin to stroke his own cock, chasing the pleasure and the feeling of such a teasing motion.

“Slow down,” Hyuk says with a smile, pressing close again and taking a hold of Jiho’s hand.

“Fuck you, I want to come,” Jiho says, voice rough.

Hyuk laughs, breathless, and presses a kiss to the back of his neck. “But I wanna touch.”

Jiho leans back into him, not willing to fight. Not when Hyuk’s hand closes around his cock and begins to pump him in slow, careful movements.

“There we go, baby,” Hyuk says and Jiho shivers at hearing the term of endearment again. “You like that?”

“Yeah…”

“You’re adorable,” Hyuk says with a soft laugh. “I told you what I wanted earlier. Fair is fair, baby, tell me what you want.”

Jiho’s eyes slide shut and he licks his lips, trying to bring his thoughts together into something coherent. There’s a million things he wants. Where does he even start?

Hyuk’s hand stops moving and when he tries to thrust into it, Hyuk lets go of his hand and drops his other hand down from his chest to his stomach, pressing down to hold him still. “Answer me first.”

“Fuck, blowing you. I want to suck your dick,” Jiho gasps out, desperate to have Hyuk’s hand back.

Hyuk gives him what he wants then. Curling his hand back around him and stroking again, each pass of his hand hot and wet, Hyuk pushes him closer and closer to the edge he’s been dancing around since the moment Hyuk pushed him against the door.

“I’d love that,” Hyuk says. “With lips like that, you’d look fucking gorgeous baby. Such pretty lips.”

Jiho twists in his grasp, breath cutting off sharp as he comes without warning, the orgasm rushing through him so fast he can’t even make a noise. He shakes in Hyuk’s grip, one hand twisting in the bed sheets and the other reaching back to bite at Hyuk’s hip as his hips instinctively thrust his cock further into Hyuk’s grip. He’s vaguely aware of Hyuk whispering something in his ear, but for a long moment, he doesn’t even move. The sound of his heartbeat and panting breath blends with the sound of the surf and the murmur of Hyuk’s voice, lulling him as the pleasure that had swamped him moments before trickles away.

“Fuck…” he croaks once he can get in proper breath.

Hyuk laughs and pulls away. “Think you can get up? We made a bit of a mess and I don’t wanna sleep like this.”

“Fuck…” he says again, this time with a whine. “You can’t just do that to me and then tell me I gotta stand up.”

Despite his complaints, he rolls his way off the bed, discarding the lube once he’s ensured it’s closed on the bedside dresser and then helping Hyuk strip the top sheet off the bed to deal with later. He follows Hyuk to the bathroom and ignores the way the lube begins to stick to his thighs as he watches him turn the shower on. Jiho’s pretty sure Hyuk is gorgeous no matter what light he’s in.

The shower is quick, neither of them having the patience for anything other than cleaning each other up. It isn’t until they slip back under the covers that things change. Hyuk presses close, arm resting on Jiho’s shoulder so he can push his fingers through Jiho’s damp hair and look at him. It doesn’t feel weird. It just feels…comfortable. Like Hyuk just wants to be in his space and look him over, make sure he’s okay.

It’s nice.

“So how was it?” Hyuk asks after a moment.

Jiho snorts, lips slipping into a smile. “What, like you don’t know? You need me to stroke your ego too?”

Hyuk laughs and Jiho feels the fluttery feeling in his chest and stomach again that screams at him that what he feels for Hyuk is so much more than attraction. “Thanks for the offer but no. I just mean…you’re okay? No regrets?”

“Hyuk, I’ve wanted that and you for years,” Jiho says. “I’m definitely not regretting it.”

Hyuk’s brow furrows and his hand drops a bit to rest against Jiho’s neck. “I…don’t know if I’m in a place where I can date right now.”

“Me neither,” Jiho says, offering a one-armed shrug. “I have a label to figure out how to run properly. But knowing we feel the same about each other that’s…something, right?”

“Yeah, it is,” Hyuk says, lips crooking up in an almost smile.

“It’ll work out,” Jiho says.

“Look at you. One gay experience under your belt and suddenly you’re full of confidence,” Hyuk says.

“If I made it this far with half my energy devoted to staying in the closet, imagine what I can do now,” Jiho says.

He means it too. Crying it out on the couch had left him purified of the sinking feeling of fear that had been at his heels for far too long. Without that weighing him down, and knowing that weight will get lighter with each of his friends he lets in, he can’t help but feel inspired.

“Oh fuck,” he says.

Hyuk’s eyebrows raise. “What?”

“I wanna write lyrics now,” Jiho says, half-heartedly rolling out of Hyuk’s arms.

“No you don’t,” Hyuk says as he drags him back, wrapping all of his limbs around Jiho and rolling himself on top. “You are resting, that’s why we’re here.”

“Guess you’ll have to convince me to stay in bed then,” Jiho says with a grin.

Hyuk just smiles back. “No problem.”

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on tumblr at the same username


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